The Time I Resisted God’s Love Through Discipline

God's love through discipline

“The gospel is this: We are more sinful and flawed in ourselves than we ever dared believe, yet at the very same time we are more loved and accepted in Jesus Christ than we ever dared hope.” -Timothy Keller

It was a painful season that I initially resisted. A season in which I had the privilege of experiencing God’s love through discipline. Although I did not see it as a privilege at first.

It was the time I came to the realization that I am truly worse off than I could have ever thought. And I am in need of grace and more importantly in need of Christ.

The problem was that I had come to believe that I am such a good person because I was meeting the standard of being a Christian. A standard which I happened to have set for myself. A standard that had nothing to do with having faith in Christ.

I believed in my own goodness as a person, therefore God owed me His goodness in return. And without realizing it, this mindset made it difficult for me to appreciate or see my desperate need for Christ.

Unable to see how much grace is being extended towards me, I was too prideful to extend the same grace towards others. With a judgmental spirit, I became a judge of men.

Until God decided that it was time for Him to rid me of these things.

Through anger, shame and depression, God opened my eyes to who I really am outside of Christ. Full of pride, bitterness, baggage, self righteousness and anger, I am not as good as I had come to believe.

He killed my pride before it could kill me. And bringing my little idols out in the open, the enemy against my soul, He stomped on them. Destroying them before they could destroy me.

This is who you are, this is where I have brought you from and what I have brought you out of. This is what the cross, blood and death of Christ has redeemed you from. You are just as much in need of Christ and grace as anyone else. Don’t you ever forget that.

I was shocked. Continue reading