Losing Control: Full Disclosure


There’s a certain level of control we all desire to have when it comes to what’s happening to us, in us or around us. And for some of us that have gotten so used to that level of control in life, it’s easy to come undone when we no longer have any idea of what comes next.

And maybe it has nothing to do with being in control per say but actually feeling about as disappointed with life as one can be.

And I think I’ve been at this place for some time now.

Losing control of your life can easily make you unsure of everything and anything. And for me, that has brought about a deep level of insecurity and numbness. A lack of purpose and passion for all and nothing.

What is the point of it all? I’ve occasionally found myself asking.

All that I’ve come to know or at least I thought I knew is being unraveled at my feet and I’m afraid to pick up my feet and move on. Life feels like a big ball of yarn and the more I try to pick it up by its string, the more it comes undone.

So I’d rather and actually have chosen to stay in one place, the state of being stuck.

But while being stuck, I’ve also tried to fight for control.

I’ve decided to pick up certain things as a crutch to lean on. I’ve chosen to chase after friendships and relationships I have no business chasing after. Opening the door of communication with certain people from the past. It seemed familiar when it first started, but these relationships have brought about more death than life. Found myself using people for my own comfort.

The other day, I also decided to join Tinder which made me so uncomfortable and worried that I deleted my profile the same day I joined. And then of course, I’ve also been using Snapchat which has really brought about a deep sense of insecurity and discontentment.

So far, nothing works.

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The God of Small Beginnings

Small Beginnings Plant

“Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin.” (Zechariah 4:10)

How many of us young adult Christians feel like we are doing “little” things?

We question what our 9 to 5 job, small business or college education will do for God? We want more. We honestly feel like there is more out there for us to do, this cannot be all that there is to life.

And in our quest for more, we choose to abandon our current responsibilities. In our quest for the big things, we find ourselves despising the small beginnings in life.

Maybe we have a burden to make Christ’s name known, a burden to do more work for God. So we find ourselves bored with our work, gifts, talents and education.

Failing to realize how God can use the small things, we choose to despise them.

And although unfaithful with little, we expect God to bless us with more. Continue reading

Counting The Cost Of Following Christ

Counting The Cost
Being a Christian can be uncomfortable and painful at times.

Being a Christian is truly not about everything working out for your “good” in the sense that we have come to know the word “good”.

It’s a big disservice to tell people that when they give their life to Christ, everything will be perfect, life will be good and they will now get whatever it is their heart desires.

Aside from that, I also know that many people are afraid of failing Christ, they feel like they don’t have what it takes to be a Christian. And maybe that is true. I’m not too sure if anyone of us have what it takes to be a Christian.

If you are counting the cost, there’s nothing wrong with that. Please do count the cost.

But while you are counting and trying to figure out the things that following Christ will cost you, you should also consider the things I’m about to tell you. Continue reading

Our Bones Are Dried Up

Valley Of Dry Bones
“And indeed, the bones were very dry.”

When God took Ezekiel, in a vision, to the valley of dry bones, He commanded him to prophesy life into the bones. He prophesied, commanded and brought back to life the “very dead” and very dry bones.

Then he said to me, “Prophesy to these bones and say to them, ‘Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord ! This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life. I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the Lord .’ -Ezekiel 37:4-6

And through the word of God, the bones lived. Continue reading